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Post by Dawn on Jan 2, 2017 4:39:44 GMT
Name - Dyingflame Gender - She-Cat Age - 29 Moons Group you wish to join - RavineClan Desired Rank- Deputy Image Reference -  Personality - Short Temper Affectionate Will question Will obey orders Will do her duty. Short History she used to be a tame kitty pet with no parents. One day when she was exploring she came across Destinysky and RavineClan, eager for attention she joined them in anticipation and grew up to be a fine deputy. Ambitious she evently acheived her rank and was close to death as a fox came up behind her but she beat it to death. Deeply wounded she grabbed some herbs and Healed herself. Proven to be a loyal Guard of RavineClan she was ranked up to deputy. |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 2, 2017 8:12:41 GMT
Dyingflame is off to a good start Dawn, and I love her name! I just have a few things that need to be added/changed before she's accepted! 1) The ranks are two deputies, Guards (defenders and fighters of this clan), and Hunters (providers of prey) for the older cats, discounting queens. Just add one of the above ranks and we are good there! 2) Maybe just a little bit more effort with the history? It doesn't really make any sense and Ravine Clan was only really recently gotten it's name. She could have been found when the group was being formed and traveled with them until they got to their current territory. 3) Here's a link for more about the false clan! It has everything you need to know just in case you missed it.  Handle those first two concerns and I can accept her! |
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Post by Dawn on Jan 2, 2017 10:05:54 GMT
Edited and thanks!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 2, 2017 10:47:41 GMT
Accepted! But I'd still work on that last part, it still doesn't quite make any sense and the "blah" part seems unneeded or should just be removed. |
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